Hope to start a regular blog now that I have more time to devote to this website.
I’ve received a few emails sharing personal stories and very much appreciate people willing to share such personal pain with a stranger. I have spent thousands of hours writing, rewriting and struggling to find the words that would express my experience and pain. Writing down my personal experience became empowering, word by word. The secret was OUT and held no more power over me but healing my inner child was a much longer process.
It was very difficult at first to write how I felt. I cried a whole lot, ranted and raved and felt such burning anger. Eventually it dawned on me that other survivors would feel the same way.
Something or some one forced me to write day after day for years. I felt duty bound, as if those who died were screaming from the grave to get busy and free them too! As I wrote and rewrote, more ideas came, sentences were completed and theories revealed. I burned sage and prayed to put words to feelings.
I learned more about myself. I began to heal, slowly at first, tiny steps. As the years wore on, I gained strength, confidence and dignity.
I didn’t read any other child abuse website while I was writing because I didn’t want to be influenced by someone else’s ideas or theories. Every word or concept has been a struggle and I have stacks of papers to prove my effort is original.
The greatest concept was to lay out a sequencial structure, from the mildest form of child abuse to the absolute worst.
If your experience is too embarrassing to share, write it out, say a prayer (if you want) then burn the paper. The point is to organize your thoughts, no matter how brief or long and detailed. Simply NAME IT!
Afterwards, and it may be a long time, you may want the FACE IT by going into all the details.
When you admit, for the first time, that you are a survivor of child trauma, you immediately begin the process to heal. The more you share, the easier it becomes until eventually the pain recedes.
Healing is still a very long process. Researching the subject to see if your experience in on Internet, is the first step on the healing process. Keep going!
